February 20, 2012
Leadership Notes
Bless her heart; my oldest granddaughter said the sweetest thing the other day. I was holding her baby sister – Liesl, 4 months old – and I referred to her as “Princess Liesl.” Lorelei said, “You mean Princess Lorelei.” I said, “No, Princess Liesl. There can be two princesses in the same family.” Lorelei answered {very matter-of-factly, as if it were common knowledge}, “No, Papa, I’m the princess and she’s the maid.” That was just awesome.
You hear what she’s saying, right? She’s saying that she’s a sweet little girl who is learning her way in the world and it’s important for the people who love her and care for her to help her understand what it means to have a servant’s heart. There’s nothing wrong with what Lorelei said. She is a normal six-year-old. And I wouldn’t want her to be anything else. What would concern me would be if she had that same outlook 20 years from now.
Our job, as followers of Jesus Christ, is to help our children grow beyond themselves. Lorelei will not always think of herself as the princess and Liesl as the maid. It’s always disturbed me to see grown women with the “Princess” bumper stickers or license plate frames on their cars. Ouch. It doesn’t impress me.
Already, in her growing-up first-grader-self, Lorelei does things that reveal how the seed of selflessness has already been sown.
It’s so important for anyone in a leadership position to expect the best out of others. And within the gospel context, the best means “It’s not about you.”
Any kind of leadership...home, church, work…is dangerous. It’s often counter-cultural. It means tough choices. And sometimes you won’t be liked. As G. Jeffrey MacDonald describes in his book Thieves in the Temple: The Christian Church and the Selling of the American Soul, “The Church isn’t a business. Unlike commercial enterprises that sell widgets or life insurance, the Church doesn’t exist to satisfy the wants of customers. The Church serves the higher purpose of transforming what its ‘customers’ want, of diminishing certain primitive desires while cultivating holier ones.” In other words, the Church must be transformational. Any type of leadership requires helping people grow into the kind of people God created them to be. And that can be dangerous.
In 1 Peter 5:8 we read, “Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.” Satan doesn’t want leaders to truly lead others. He wants leaders to be passive and timid. As leaders, we fail when we want to be accepted by others more than we want to lead. Jesus spoke of this in Luke 6:26, “Woe to you, when all men speak well of you.” Here’s how John Maxwell frames it: “If you need people, you can’t lead people.” For example, your children don’t need you to be their friend. They need you to be their parent. A huge parental trap is wanting to be our children’s best friend.
As followers of Jesus Christ, we want to be people of consistency and integrity rather than being liked and popular. Pity the pastor or parent or teacher or boss who wants to be liked more than anything else. I have known pastors who were people-pleasers, and it’s never good. Face it, leaders have to deal with being unpopular, temporarily disliked, or misunderstood. It is what it is.
I like how Dr. Larry Crabb put it: “My personal need for significance and security can only be genuinely and fully met in my relationship with Jesus Christ.” Remember, if you’re in any kind of leadership position, you have to be comfortable with conflict and disagreement and not always being liked. It goes with the territory. Confident in Christ – lead on.
Be of Good Cheer,
Richard